omg hahaha her ass is 100% visible!
- He has no face.
- He tells me it’s ok to kill people
- She stares at me from the ceiling
- The man in the Easter Bunny costume loves me so much
- I talk to her through the mirror
- When you leave, she crawls out of my closet on all 4’s
- When I take a bath, he comes out of the water
- She says she’ll take me away with her one day forever
- He has no arms or legs
- She’s bloody and she cries all the time
you don’t understand i would sell my firstborn to know how this story started
Well it all started when Mrs. Hayfer wanted me to babysit her dumb house. When I got the keys, I sat them on top of this pie that I found on the counter. I knew it was going to be given to the family for desert if I didn’t eat it soon, so I was going to plan to eat it in my teacher’s house and dump all the crumbs on her bed. So it’s a win-win, right? Besides, she wouldn’t find out about the crumbs until after I was paid, and this teacher hates me anyway. Then, I got distracted when this hot cheerleader calls me, asking about what movie I’d recommend, but before I could answer, I realize that my mom would be there any second to serve dinner, and there was no way I was sharing that pie. So I bust out of there with the pie and the keys, and the moment I get in the house, I start chowing down on the pie with my bare hands, trying to eat this thing before anyone knows I took it, right? Well, since the pie crust was dry, I chugged a 2-liter bottle of soda whenever my throat would get dry and eventually, I really needed “to go.” Only when I went to flush, the water wouldn’t stop flowing and there was no plunger to be found. Usually I’d just shrug and say it was Josh’s fault or something, but let’s get real here, Mrs. Hayfer would’ve blamed me about her toilet overflowing if I was 30 states away. So I jammed my foot in there, hoping it’d make the toilet stop flushing. Then my phone rings, and I knew it was my mom, asking where her pie went, and because Meghan decided it’d be a great idea to make my ring tone a bunch of cats meowing, Mrs. Hayfer’s dog, Tiberius starts freaking out, bashing into the door over and over again. Now anyone who knows this dog knows that this dog will happily eat anything, and that includes the pie, and probably myself. So my foot’s totally stuck in there right, I’m freaking out, the dog’s having a seizure and I still got half a pie left.
i feel it necessary to reblog since i just read that whole thing
Til death do us part
This might be the coolest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.
Okay, guys, I know I said I was going to bed but can I just point out one little thing here?
Do you notice how it’s blurry at the beginning and suddenly sharpens at the end?
When it’s blurry, it’s because when you’re in love, you supposedly don’t see anything other than the person you love.
And when it sharpens, it’s because the world has come back into focus now that their loved one is gone.
being a fan of something and having a crap fandom is like standing in the middle of a party and everyone is loud, obnoxious and rude and occasionally spits acid in your face but your friends are there, the music is excellent, and there’s lots of food, and there’s great wifi so you don’t really wanna leave so you kind of just stand there going